The Brief Issue 01 · October 20, 2026October Focus: Sleep
What to pay attention to

Waking at 3am is a hormone problem, not a discipline problem

The thing to notice this week: not just that you woke, but what else was true about that night.

Sound familiar

All three of these came up at the October SheSTANDS Circle Gathering.

  • I fall asleep fine, but I wake up frequently at 3am.
  • I am awake for ninety minutes, then sleep hard right before the alarm.
  • I have tried supplements, but nothing seems to help.
Why it matters in menopause

Progesterone is the first hormone to decline in perimenopause, often years before estrogen does anything dramatic. It is also the one with a sedative effect, acting on the same receptors a sleep medication targets. As it falls, the architecture of your sleep changes. You still fall asleep, but you don't stay asleep as well, and the second half of the night is typically where that shows up.

Then there is temperature. The range your body tolerates before it triggers a cooling response narrows during menopause. A half-degree shift that meant nothing at forty now wakes you at 3am.

And there is cortisol, which around midnight begins its natural climb toward morning, when it wakes you. If you were hot in the evening, if the last work email went out at ten, if there was wine, that climb starts soon after you fall asleep and gets steeper quickly, often causing sleep interruptions.

Three mechanisms, three different answers. It is why the same advice helps one woman and does nothing at all for the next. So the first useful step is not a remedy. It is finding out which one is yours.

The one small thing

For the next seven mornings, five lines on a card. Fill it in when you wake, while the night is still fresh, before the day starts talking over it.

  • What time you went to bed
  • What time you woke
  • Hot or damp when you woke, yes or no
  • Alcohol, and how many hours before bed
  • Mind racing, or just awake
Takes: about twenty seconds a morning. What the pattern will tell you: waking hot most nights points at temperature. Mind going, usually after a late or heavy evening, points at cortisol. The same time every night with none of the above is the one most likely to be about progesterone. Three different patterns, three different conversations to have, and now you know which one is yours.
Worth noting
  • If the waking comes with a racing heart, or you are waking drenched rather than just warm, thyroid is worth ruling out. It is an ordinary blood test and it is reasonable to ask for it.
  • Alcohol within three hours of bed shortens the last half of the night more than it might help you sleep at the beginning. Use your card to see if alcohol seems to be impacting your sleep, and if so, keep it to the early part of the evening.
  • The next free session, SheSTANDS: Is This Menopause, is Saturday October 24 at 3:00pm ET. Register at mustardseedhealth.com/shestands-is-this-menopause
The Circle members' section

What was in this month's member edition?

SheSTANDS Circle members got The Tart Cherry Nightcap, a recipe for this month's focus, which was sleep. They also received 20% off Organic Sleep Easy Oil through my dispensary.

Next month the focus for the SheSTANDS Circle is Energy. Fitness and Movement Expert Kim Goodrich will be joining us on the Circle Gathering call on November 11 where she will be sharing how movement can help restore and maintain energy.

Join the SheSTANDS Circle
Mary Mary Pate · Mustard Seed Health · Integrative Nutrition Health Coach empowering women in menopause The SheSTANDS Brief is health coaching and education. It is not medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your physician about your individual health needs.